Journals49
Newest
This is the last time I'm stating this.
1 min read
If you have commissioned something from me and are tired of the wait or would rather have the points back, *PLEASE MESSAGE ME.*
I'm more then willing and I feel like you are all getting a mixed message.
Paypal takes a process waiting of 5-15 days to even do anything so that's where most the wait comes from.
Thank you.
I'm more then willing and I feel like you are all getting a mixed message.
Paypal takes a process waiting of 5-15 days to even do anything so that's where most the wait comes from.
Thank you.
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New Account.
1 min read
*shamefully forgot to update again like a dweeb*
Here is the link for my new account;
this one is ultimately dormant and the other one is really not too far behind??
I'll get around to posting eventually but for now here you go
Do what you will here; you can either let it die here or follow me forth either way
Thank you for a wild ride.
-Zackaree
PS - Only thing I'll keep with contacting is about commissions through here.
Here is the link for my new account;
this one is ultimately dormant and the other one is really not too far behind??
I'll get around to posting eventually but for now here you go
Do what you will here; you can either let it die here or follow me forth either way
Thank you for a wild ride.
-Zackaree
PS - Only thing I'll keep with contacting is about commissions through here.
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Moving soon
1 min read
In that journal I made awhile back I stated at the end I was debating on moving accounts to start anew
and I said I'd update saying so
so here is that update
I will keep everything up and Ollie Outtie is not dead cause of this; I'll keep the commissioner list (bug me if you want a refund; otherwise i'm going full out this week to get them done)
Thank you and stay beautiful.
-Zackaree
and I said I'd update saying so
so here is that update
I will keep everything up and Ollie Outtie is not dead cause of this; I'll keep the commissioner list (bug me if you want a refund; otherwise i'm going full out this week to get them done)
Thank you and stay beautiful.
-Zackaree
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Commission Update UPDATE
1 min read
Making this short, sweet, and simple cause I have a senior awards ceremony in like 45 minutes.
So, just a quick thing, I'm graduating in 7 days; 10 school days in total then immediately after that for 10 days I have to do a college ready course thing that is really bogus to do but yea.
As of late, I have not been inspired to work on many pieces so over the next few days I'm distributing refunds.
This is mostly cause I think I'm kind of done at this point. Done in a sense that I took on way too much and it's been way to long for some people to wait. So, I'll contact you for refunds but some I'm going to stay committed to do.
Sorry for inconvenience.
So, just a quick thing, I'm graduating in 7 days; 10 school days in total then immediately after that for 10 days I have to do a college ready course thing that is really bogus to do but yea.
As of late, I have not been inspired to work on many pieces so over the next few days I'm distributing refunds.
This is mostly cause I think I'm kind of done at this point. Done in a sense that I took on way too much and it's been way to long for some people to wait. So, I'll contact you for refunds but some I'm going to stay committed to do.
Sorry for inconvenience.
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Going to come out and say this
6 min read
I'm going to put it all on the table and just come right out to say it; I'm not happy. This isn't going to be some hate-speech or preachy vent 'oh woe is me' sort of journal entry, but for once I'm looking to actually talk about how I feel and am as person since generally I'm not one to express this much online. I like to keep certain things private because you never know who will cling onto it to tear you apart later.
Let me start by saying that I appreciate everything that you as a watcher has done for me. I wake up every morning, still unable believe how far I've come on my journey to make myself and I have all of you to thank you for that; I absolutely mean it. The thing is though, over the amount of time I've been here it's been headed pretty south as of late. A good part of it is my own fault since I have the worst attention span to the point it physically hurts to work on certain things so, in turn, putting things out comes as being difficult. The other part is...I don't feel like I'm part of anything. Both DeviantART and YouTube have evolved so much so fast that it's exhausting and confusing to keep up with. For example, I made a journal (coincidentally on April 1st) of my joking about a two frame head-bob thing. I don't think many got the joke behind it, but making it really made me think. There are so many fads coming and going its just hard to keep up with and most of the time, I don't understand them. The world is full of competition and cliques that you either just fall into place with or you have to fight your way into becoming apart of it and I'm not calling out "big-names" of sorts (mostly cause I don't really bother to keep up with who "the big names" are nowadays) but it kind of fascinates me how it works.
Be that as it may, I'm a little tired of it. There's a lot of hidden hate hiding around corners of the internet that you always seem to have to tread lightly on or else you'll be viciously attacked. I've never been an outward person; People who know me know I tend to be sarcastic which sometimes leads to a lot of anxiety issues later when it comes to speaking because of the fear of being ridiculed doing so makes me seen as a bad person when it's just how I get over the bad days. I tend to stay quiet because of this and I put this trait to myself when having my "fursona" character represent who I am: Silent and generally a mystery. I've gotten many messages as to 'Who is Zackaree' and I've really let the character be open to interpretation. This has gotten me some trouble however in a sense of people taking the character seriously and putting it as this is ALL who I am. When in reality, Zackaree is JUST a character. A big question I'm constantly asked about is 'Are they female, male, agender...etc.?' which I've always replied with 'unknown'. However way it goes, it lead to some...uncomfortable PMs and messages I've received. Now, I've been around the internet a lot in sense of 'I can take a joke' now and again, but as of how things are changing a lot brings more to it's no longer a joke; it's just disturbing. What I'm generally talking about is that I have received many harassment messages and most of them are sexually perverse. I'll state again that yes, I can take a joke every now and then but it's gotten to the point of how they are written and sent to me have made me extremely uncomfortable. Of course, I don't respond because then it'd just be adding fuel to a fire so eventually they move on, but it's never just one person. It's uncomfortable to have this because I have a younger audience that watches what I do and I take it upon myself to censor somethings I do out of respect to those viewers yet it kind of gets me slapped in the face. I've told these stories of these messages to people before, but I've never came out to talk about them online before in this public manner.
It's confusing in a sense that you get these messages yet there's this lingering hostility that can be floating just about it if you make a wrong move. I'm stuck between either there's obsessive admiration view or compulsive hatred. I hate to say it, but I was (and still am) afraid of coming out to say these things because of how lightly you have to tread since people can twist your words around so easily that you can easily go from being the victim to the felon. It's a terrifying thing to think about. Receiving all these kinds of messages have really made me confused of exactly where I stand here. I don't have many friends (online and offline) that can help me find a footing, I'm on a constant nervous spree just trying to get people to like and respect me, I generally do not like most of whatever community it is I'm apart of, I want to be able to create but I'm forced to limit myself...It's just one huge mess; I'm a huge mess.
The bottom-line I'm trying to get across here is I'm not happy with where I am and I'm not even sure where it is I stand. I love the project I'm doing right now, but it's hard to keep a motivation for it. I have 5 whole pages done of the next few parts but I can't bring myself to post them. I wish I could be apart of something...but I guess I'm just a person from the outside looking in.
Thinking about all of this has made me debate somethings such as ultimately moving both DeviantART and YouTube accounts as a hope for a new start, but I'm not even confident in that working out much. So for now, I guess, I'm just baring with it..
If I come to a decision, I'll be sure to update.
-Zackaree
Let me start by saying that I appreciate everything that you as a watcher has done for me. I wake up every morning, still unable believe how far I've come on my journey to make myself and I have all of you to thank you for that; I absolutely mean it. The thing is though, over the amount of time I've been here it's been headed pretty south as of late. A good part of it is my own fault since I have the worst attention span to the point it physically hurts to work on certain things so, in turn, putting things out comes as being difficult. The other part is...I don't feel like I'm part of anything. Both DeviantART and YouTube have evolved so much so fast that it's exhausting and confusing to keep up with. For example, I made a journal (coincidentally on April 1st) of my joking about a two frame head-bob thing. I don't think many got the joke behind it, but making it really made me think. There are so many fads coming and going its just hard to keep up with and most of the time, I don't understand them. The world is full of competition and cliques that you either just fall into place with or you have to fight your way into becoming apart of it and I'm not calling out "big-names" of sorts (mostly cause I don't really bother to keep up with who "the big names" are nowadays) but it kind of fascinates me how it works.
Be that as it may, I'm a little tired of it. There's a lot of hidden hate hiding around corners of the internet that you always seem to have to tread lightly on or else you'll be viciously attacked. I've never been an outward person; People who know me know I tend to be sarcastic which sometimes leads to a lot of anxiety issues later when it comes to speaking because of the fear of being ridiculed doing so makes me seen as a bad person when it's just how I get over the bad days. I tend to stay quiet because of this and I put this trait to myself when having my "fursona" character represent who I am: Silent and generally a mystery. I've gotten many messages as to 'Who is Zackaree' and I've really let the character be open to interpretation. This has gotten me some trouble however in a sense of people taking the character seriously and putting it as this is ALL who I am. When in reality, Zackaree is JUST a character. A big question I'm constantly asked about is 'Are they female, male, agender...etc.?' which I've always replied with 'unknown'. However way it goes, it lead to some...uncomfortable PMs and messages I've received. Now, I've been around the internet a lot in sense of 'I can take a joke' now and again, but as of how things are changing a lot brings more to it's no longer a joke; it's just disturbing. What I'm generally talking about is that I have received many harassment messages and most of them are sexually perverse. I'll state again that yes, I can take a joke every now and then but it's gotten to the point of how they are written and sent to me have made me extremely uncomfortable. Of course, I don't respond because then it'd just be adding fuel to a fire so eventually they move on, but it's never just one person. It's uncomfortable to have this because I have a younger audience that watches what I do and I take it upon myself to censor somethings I do out of respect to those viewers yet it kind of gets me slapped in the face. I've told these stories of these messages to people before, but I've never came out to talk about them online before in this public manner.
It's confusing in a sense that you get these messages yet there's this lingering hostility that can be floating just about it if you make a wrong move. I'm stuck between either there's obsessive admiration view or compulsive hatred. I hate to say it, but I was (and still am) afraid of coming out to say these things because of how lightly you have to tread since people can twist your words around so easily that you can easily go from being the victim to the felon. It's a terrifying thing to think about. Receiving all these kinds of messages have really made me confused of exactly where I stand here. I don't have many friends (online and offline) that can help me find a footing, I'm on a constant nervous spree just trying to get people to like and respect me, I generally do not like most of whatever community it is I'm apart of, I want to be able to create but I'm forced to limit myself...It's just one huge mess; I'm a huge mess.
The bottom-line I'm trying to get across here is I'm not happy with where I am and I'm not even sure where it is I stand. I love the project I'm doing right now, but it's hard to keep a motivation for it. I have 5 whole pages done of the next few parts but I can't bring myself to post them. I wish I could be apart of something...but I guess I'm just a person from the outside looking in.
Thinking about all of this has made me debate somethings such as ultimately moving both DeviantART and YouTube accounts as a hope for a new start, but I'm not even confident in that working out much. So for now, I guess, I'm just baring with it..
If I come to a decision, I'll be sure to update.
-Zackaree
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